Bereavement
Chapters
Grieving
The loss of a pet can be incredibly difficult, no matter how prepared you think you are. Your sheer love and devotion to your tiny friends can lead to some overwhelming emotions. In the beginning, you will be hit by feelings of guilt or failure. Your emotions can be a lot stronger in the event of an unexpected/unexplained death, or when you realise that the time you have with your hamster is limited. In the case of having a terminally ill hamster, please take time to process what you have been told if the situation allows. It is normal to want to make sense of what has just happened, and is not unusual to try and find fault in our ourselves. We have no control over how soon or what our hamsters die from nor can even the vet cure or prevent everything - veterinary medicine isn't as advanced as you might think.
You may feel intense anger, especially is care or treatments haven't gone to plan. You want someone/something to blame. While you're trying to make sense of everything that has happened, you'll also have many questions. Unfortunately, many of these you'll never be able to answer. Some people ask for post-mortems, however these aren't always conclusive and don't provide the owner with the answers they need. Often numbness and feeling empty following a loss is a very normal response. Often people will wonder what is wrong with them when in fact, it's perfectly normal! Everything will return in time, when you are ready. Be kind to yourself during this stage!
It will mostly be the little things that can catch you unaware and because of this, you can experience a very physical need to hold or cuddle your hammy, just one more time. Sadly a of memory or a specific situation can bring up the whole loss again all of a sudden. Grieving is very much a spiral in which you revisit certain events and feelings, but hopefully with a less pain each time.
Coping
If you would like to speak about your feelings and would accept the support from other people who understand how much the loss of a pet can affect you, then you are always welcome to start a thread. Talking is the by far best thing you can do! You are also welcome to post a tribute to your hamster you have lost in our Rainbow Bridge section at any time,
Going through photos and videos of your hammy will help with the difficult grieving process. A lot of people have their favourite picture framed to help remind them of the good times they had together. However, some people find this too painful even months after the fact. Please don't feel bad if this is the case, that time will come as you start to heal.
How do I tell my children?
It's always a challenge breaking the news to your children. If there is a serious illness, you can of course prepare them to a certain extent. How much you want to say about death and afterlife depends on your children's age and your beliefs. If you struggle yourself or have a very sensitive or special needs child, you can contact family members or a pet bereavement helpline to help work out the best way forward for you and to get support for yourself and for your child during this process.
Some families find that getting another hamster fairly soon afterwards helps with the grief. Each hamster is unique and individual, with a different personality, so will not replace the lost pet. But it can help ease the grief and fill the gap of having a hamster to still care for. For other families it is too raw at first and they need more time before considering getting another hamster, or even a different pet instead.
Support for you
If you struggle with the grieving process to the extent that you are unable to get on with your daily life or sleep, or to move on with your feelings of guilt or loss, please contact a pet bereavement service. There are free and anonymous phone lines available that can help you cope with your loss. Pet bereavement can happen to anybody and it can be much harder than you think; there is no shame in it!
Click on "Go to Download" button top right to open Blue Cross resource.
Links to available services in the UK:
www.bluecross.org.uk
https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/pet-bereavement/
Links to available services in the US:
https://www.humanesociety.org/resources/coping-death-your-pet
https://aercmn.com/for-pet-owners/resources/pet-loss-support/
Chapters
- Grieving
- Coping
- How do I tell my children?
- Support for you
Grieving
The loss of a pet can be incredibly difficult, no matter how prepared you think you are. Your sheer love and devotion to your tiny friends can lead to some overwhelming emotions. In the beginning, you will be hit by feelings of guilt or failure. Your emotions can be a lot stronger in the event of an unexpected/unexplained death, or when you realise that the time you have with your hamster is limited. In the case of having a terminally ill hamster, please take time to process what you have been told if the situation allows. It is normal to want to make sense of what has just happened, and is not unusual to try and find fault in our ourselves. We have no control over how soon or what our hamsters die from nor can even the vet cure or prevent everything - veterinary medicine isn't as advanced as you might think.
You may feel intense anger, especially is care or treatments haven't gone to plan. You want someone/something to blame. While you're trying to make sense of everything that has happened, you'll also have many questions. Unfortunately, many of these you'll never be able to answer. Some people ask for post-mortems, however these aren't always conclusive and don't provide the owner with the answers they need. Often numbness and feeling empty following a loss is a very normal response. Often people will wonder what is wrong with them when in fact, it's perfectly normal! Everything will return in time, when you are ready. Be kind to yourself during this stage!
It will mostly be the little things that can catch you unaware and because of this, you can experience a very physical need to hold or cuddle your hammy, just one more time. Sadly a of memory or a specific situation can bring up the whole loss again all of a sudden. Grieving is very much a spiral in which you revisit certain events and feelings, but hopefully with a less pain each time.
Coping
If you would like to speak about your feelings and would accept the support from other people who understand how much the loss of a pet can affect you, then you are always welcome to start a thread. Talking is the by far best thing you can do! You are also welcome to post a tribute to your hamster you have lost in our Rainbow Bridge section at any time,
Going through photos and videos of your hammy will help with the difficult grieving process. A lot of people have their favourite picture framed to help remind them of the good times they had together. However, some people find this too painful even months after the fact. Please don't feel bad if this is the case, that time will come as you start to heal.
How do I tell my children?
It's always a challenge breaking the news to your children. If there is a serious illness, you can of course prepare them to a certain extent. How much you want to say about death and afterlife depends on your children's age and your beliefs. If you struggle yourself or have a very sensitive or special needs child, you can contact family members or a pet bereavement helpline to help work out the best way forward for you and to get support for yourself and for your child during this process.
Some families find that getting another hamster fairly soon afterwards helps with the grief. Each hamster is unique and individual, with a different personality, so will not replace the lost pet. But it can help ease the grief and fill the gap of having a hamster to still care for. For other families it is too raw at first and they need more time before considering getting another hamster, or even a different pet instead.
Support for you
If you struggle with the grieving process to the extent that you are unable to get on with your daily life or sleep, or to move on with your feelings of guilt or loss, please contact a pet bereavement service. There are free and anonymous phone lines available that can help you cope with your loss. Pet bereavement can happen to anybody and it can be much harder than you think; there is no shame in it!
Click on "Go to Download" button top right to open Blue Cross resource.
Links to available services in the UK:
Pet bereavement and pet loss
If you are grieving for a pet, or facing loss, our free and confidential Pet Bereavement Support Service (PBSS) is here for you by phone, email or webchat.
www.bluecross.org.uk
Links to available services in the US:
https://www.humanesociety.org/resources/coping-death-your-pet
https://aercmn.com/for-pet-owners/resources/pet-loss-support/