Does it have to be out of cage bonding? Because to me that involves me trying to like get her out and to me that just seems even more stressful for her. Would it be okay if I just sat by her cage every night and handed her treats and let her climb into my hand after I leave her alone for the next few days?
That is fine too, but trying to bond with them in their own territory doesn't work as well as out of their territory. They behave differently out of their territory - but the timing for out of cage time needs to be right. About two weeks after she first came to you. However, if her cage is moved and then moved back again, it might need to wait a bit longer. It is fine handing her treats and talking to her through the cage so she becomes familiar with your voice, scent and presence. It isn't actually stressful having out of cage time, the key is how to get them out without it being stressful. I use a large tube with a smelly treat at the far end (ie my end not the hamster's end), hamster walks in the tube to get the treat, I put my hands over the end and lift the tube out. If then transporting the hamster to say, a bathtub for initial taming/out of cage time, you wouldn't want to carry them a long way in the tube - they can push against your hand and make you jump and there's a risk of taking your hand away or dropping the tube. So then the better way is to have a box on the floor next to the cage and let the hamster out of the tube into the box, then carry them in the box to the bathtub or hamsterproofed area.
Once they are out in the bathtub (maybe a blanket on the bottom of the bathtub, and a tunnel and a couple of hidey places and maybe even a dig box and some treats) they are more interested in that and forget about being out of the cage. They behave completely differently out of the cage to in it. Or you could start with a large storage box as a "taming bin" - set up similarly.
A hamster can be shy and cautious the first time but it's a good place to start with hand feeding so they get used to your hand. Once they get used to it regularly, they can often want to come out and show that. Then they happily hop in the tube/taxi, knowing it means exploring time. Likewise they learn to hop back in the taxi when they want to go back to the cage. That, to me, is one of the most important aspects, "training" them to go in and out of a taxi - so if they ever escape or are free roaming, you can easily get them back - they walk into the offered taxi. It's just a learned habit then. Their natural inclination with tubes and tunnels is to walk into them anyway.
Often after about two weeks they are dead keen to get out of the cage anyway. Some may still hide away a bit or only come out after dark because they haven't had the experience of being out of the cage. Once they have the experience (maybe 2 or 3 times a week at first), then they don't hide away. If that makes sense.
The enclosure is their "territory" and nesting place, but out of the enclosure is exploration, playtime. They have a lot of energy, especially at night, and need a bit more than just wheel running IMO.
Having said all that, dwarf hamsters vary and if it's working for you having her run over your hand in the cage, it's a start. The risk there though is she could run up your arm and jump out!
There are more tips in this article
Hand taming a hamster can make life with your hamster very rewarding. Suddenly they will sit on you to be stroked or even go to sleep on you, and will be very easy to handle. It can take a bit of time and patience initially.
www.thehamsterforum.com