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TheRollingRobos by Scottie

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Just when I think humans could not possibly be any nosier, I found out there is an image of me used on a calendar!:mad: I did not give my permission for this! I have no idea how they came to get this image of me as I am always careful to hide and come out when it is dark. I demand payment for this or I will go on strike! Tofu will be acceptable.
 
Pip: Eek I know who did this. How much are you charging?! We don’t have any tofu here. I think the humans made a plan between them so it’s not really my fault.
 
Who did this Pip? Of course I do not blame you. My fellow robos would never do this. Well, if tofu is not available then I will accept a whole baby corn. I think that is fair.
 
I think you had better ask your Mum for that then! My Mum did it (eek) but your Mum gave her the thing to make the picture. Anyway don’t worry Orko - lots of other hamsters are on it and it’s an honour!
 
Pip, I thought you had trained her well? I think you need to up her training regime. I should have realised it was Busy Body who betrayed me like this. She is obsessed with seeing me for some reason.
 
Hello friends something wonderful happened. My favourite treat in all the world is back! At first I could not believe my nose and thought it was playing tricks on me. I sniffed and was sure I could smell tofu. I thought nature was playing a cruel trick on me but I stuck my nose out of my hidey hole and the smell became stronger. I came out and went to my bowl and sure enough, my dreams were answered! This happened in the daytime but I still could not resist coming out. I am so happy. Looks like my secret plan to avoid my usual eating regime worked and Busy Body relented. Hehe.
 
That's exciting news Orko - yes a big sulk works wonders.
 
Finley: Hey Orko, maybe they paid your modelling fee. Who's your agent?
 
Finley: Hey Orko, don't get out of your nest unless they pay at least one piece of tofu upfront.
I saw your photo in the glossy calendar. Did they airbrush your whiskers?
 
Pip: I know something about this. There was no airbrushing of any hamster whiskers :) . You were secretly photographed Orko - but just so your Mum could show everyone how perfect you are - on the hamster network.
 
Pip: Well I am not perfect but I think I am ok! However I am apparently "cute" grr. Do they realise I am almost middle aged?
 
No Pip. You are perfect. We are robos. This means we are all perfect. I also hear Busy Body saying how cute you are. Yesterday she showed Tapper videos of you in your playpen. Tapper said Pip in his playpen, sounds like a great Children's programme.
 
Ha ha! I might become famous if I was on a children's programme. I think I will practice my tricks then.
 
Ooh yes! I'm good at that.
 
Last night I was tidying up and pondering on life. I like to think while tidying. Anyway, I came to realise something so shocking that it stopped me moving for a whole 5 seconds. The humans here do not have a sand bath! No wonder they smell so bad. They are disgusting and never clean themselves. I have been here for 6 long months and never once have I seen them clean themselves.

Yours in disgust,
Orko
 
Scottie: they use water in their bath and they don't even roll in it! How they get their backs clean, i do not know.

Why would anybody want to get wet?! Humans are crazy and haven't got a clue when it comes to personal hygiene.

They only wash their faces twice a day and that's the clean ones by human standards. Can you even imagine that?
 
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