TheRollingRobos by Scottie

[RainbowBrite]

Just when I think humans could not possibly be any nosier, I found out there is an image of me used on a calendar! I did not give my permission for this! I have no idea how they came to get this image of me as I am always careful to hide and come out when it is dark. I demand payment for this or I will go on strike! Tofu will be acceptable.

 

[Maz]

Pip: Eek I know who did this. How much are you charging?! We don’t have any tofu here. I think the humans made a plan between them so it’s not really my fault.

 

[RainbowBrite]

Who did this Pip? Of course I do not blame you. My fellow robos would never do this. Well, if tofu is not available then I will accept a whole baby corn. I think that is fair.

 

[Maz]

I think you had better ask your Mum for that then! My Mum did it (eek) but your Mum gave her the thing to make the picture. Anyway don’t worry Orko - lots of other hamsters are on it and it’s an honour!

 

[RainbowBrite]

Pip, I thought you had trained her well? I think you need to up her training regime. I should have realised it was Busy Body who betrayed me like this. She is obsessed with seeing me for some reason.

 

[RainbowBrite]

Hello friends something wonderful happened. My favourite treat in all the world is back! At first I could not believe my nose and thought it was playing tricks on me. I sniffed and was sure I could smell tofu. I thought nature was playing a cruel trick on me but I stuck my nose out of my hidey hole and the smell became stronger. I came out and went to my bowl and sure enough, my dreams were answered! This happened in the daytime but I still could not resist coming out. I am so happy. Looks like my secret plan to avoid my usual eating regime worked and Busy Body relented. Hehe.

 

[Maz]

That's exciting news Orko - yes a big sulk works wonders.

 

[Member ID2]

Finley: Hey Orko, maybe they paid your modelling fee. Who's your agent?

 

[RainbowBrite]

Hmm, maybe the tofu was payment. In that case, I am okay with it.

 

[Member ID2]

Finley: Hey Orko, don't get out of your nest unless they pay at least one piece of tofu upfront.
I saw your photo in the glossy calendar. Did they airbrush your whiskers?

 

[RainbowBrite]

I do not know but if they did then that is very rude indeed!

 

[Maz]

Pip: I know something about this. There was no airbrushing of any hamster whiskers . You were secretly photographed Orko - but just so your Mum could show everyone how perfect you are - on the hamster network.

 

[RainbowBrite]

Hmm, I am perfect aren't I? I agree.

 

[Maz]

Pip: Well I am not perfect but I think I am ok! However I am apparently "cute" grr. Do they realise I am almost middle aged?

 

[RainbowBrite]

No Pip. You are perfect. We are robos. This means we are all perfect. I also hear Busy Body saying how cute you are. Yesterday she showed Tapper videos of you in your playpen. Tapper said Pip in his playpen, sounds like a great Children's programme.

 

[Maz]

Ha ha! I might become famous if I was on a children's programme. I think I will practice my tricks then.

 

[RainbowBrite]

You could teach children how to make teaspoons disappear.

 

[Maz]

Ooh yes! I'm good at that.

 

[RainbowBrite]

Last night I was tidying up and pondering on life. I like to think while tidying. Anyway, I came to realise something so shocking that it stopped me moving for a whole 5 seconds. The humans here do not have a sand bath! No wonder they smell so bad. They are disgusting and never clean themselves. I have been here for 6 long months and never once have I seen them clean themselves.

Yours in disgust,
Orko

 

[Member ID2]

Scottie: they use water in their bath and they don't even roll in it! How they get their backs clean, i do not know.

Why would anybody want to get wet?! Humans are crazy and haven't got a clue when it comes to personal hygiene.

They only wash their faces twice a day and that's the clean ones by human standards. Can you even imagine that?