TheRollingRobos by Scottie

Ah, so you do a war dance and this scares your human into giving you mealworms? That is very clever. I cannot stare at Busy Body because I am too cool for that. If I do that she will likely hurl another insult at me and it will make her so happy to see me. I am a free spirit. I do not conform to anybody and that means, no can do.
 
Yes it's a bit of a war dance. We are all different - I think you have a more subtle approach Orko - the human didn't even see you at first! That's clever. Have you tried hiding things? It drives the human crazy! I hid a teaspoon at the bottom of my cage for ages. I kept hearing the human say - I wonder what happened to that teespoon tee hee.
 
That is a very good trick to play. I would like to try that but I cannot seem to be able to pick up things unless they are very small and light. I blame Busy Body for not giving me enough tofu. She is afraid more tofu will make me stronger and I will be able to break the force field.
 
Hehe, Finley here. I played a trick on Whiskers last night. I hid in my cork tunnel when he opened my tank and then i run across his paw. Hehe, it made him jump.

The only time i ever see him move fast is when Big Nose puts twiglets in the bread drawer. Did you know that humans eat twigs?
 
That was a great joke Finley. I did not know humans eat twigs but that must be why Busy Body keeps two stupid twigs in my home which I will never touch.
 
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Good evening, Scottie here.
RainbowBrite said:
Hello friends. I want to ask you all for some advice. I know we all seem to have a rough time of it but do you ever get insults thrown at you by the humans? When Busy Body pokes about in my home she calls me her 'precious boy' *Shudder of repulsion* How dare she! My mother was a fine sow who could pouch a remarkable amount of food. I am angry and offended and not sure what to do about it.

Yours angrily,
Orko
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Good evening, Scottie here.

Yes, the humans can be very disrespectful.
'Precious boy' indeed. Makes you sound like a gem stone. She'll try to wrap you round her finger next.
Not that she could. You are way too smart for that Orko and will always outwit her.

Big Nose calls me her little man. Gringe. Does she really have to point out that i'm not the biggest Robo!

Hmm, how could we annoy the humans.
Hiding something like Pip did is a great idea.

What drives Big Nose mad is when she drops a washer or a nut from a shelf in the cage and can't find it. I wonder if i'm strong enough to unscrew my shelf...

I demand more tofu!! Protein is Power.
 
Hello Scottie. I see Big Nose insults you too. Why must they mock us for our height? Just because they cannot fit into a multi chamber house and we can. Perhaps they are jealous.

It would be so good if you could unscrew your shelf. Maybe if you try to paw it every day it will eventually move.
 
Hello Pip here. I have been thinking about this a lot and I think you are absolutely right. It is multi room house envy! They desperately want a multiroom house but they're not very good at building nests (even though I've taught my human a bit of hoarding experience).

Orko it's very easy to bury a teaspoon - you don't have to pick it up, you just keep digging under it till it ends up at the bottom of the cage. It really drives them crazy when they can't find something!

(Note from Maz to Beryl: Nightmare when a washer falls in the cage!)
 
So now we know the truth. The way they cope with their jealousy is to bluff and pretend they find us small. You were very clever to work that out Pip.

I like your tips for burying a teaspoon. I would like to try this but Busy Body is to mean to provide me with one.
 
Pip here again. I am so cross. First of all a big grey cloth thing appeared at one side of my cage and has made everything darker (and I now can't see junior to see if I'm running faster than him). The human said it's a heated clothes drier. Well they're not my clothes so I don't want it. I decided to hide away for a couple of nights. THEN the human has stolen my food bowl! She says she's waiting for the food to defrost. She really needs to get organised. And NOW she is acting all weird because she said there was a spider in the toilet and it might have got on or up her trousers.

The things I have to put up with. I would quite like to eat that spider. Especially as my food bowl has been stolen. The human said - well you've been coming out a lot later so I didn't think you'd notice. Yes, well, I changed my mind didn't I?
 
Pip, it sounds like you have had a terrible night. The human tried to blind you with a cloth, you were robbed, you were deprived of a spider snack, your food was late. Wow. Maybe you should report the human to Hamster Rights UK?

Your training was going so well but now it sounds like you may have to dedicate more time to training her further. Tut tut, just when you taught her to make a hoard too.
 
Finley here,
yes, the humans are not towing the line.
Poor Pip, that's no way to treat a Robo.

Hmm, what do you think guys, shall we call in the big boys? I know of one heavyweight living uptown and there are three more living in my town. Trouble is that two of them are geriatrics and one is neurotic.
 
What?! Did someone just call me a geriatric?

Ah, i should have known it's that midge Finley from across the road.

Yes, Finley i just called you a midge. I know where you are from with a name like Finley. Big Nose told me you are from Achiltibui.
Did you run out of tourists to annoy so you had to come down here to annoy your neighbours?

Ha! I am not a geriatric. I still do my own housekeeping and shopping unlike this midge who can't be bothered to leave his tank and gets his shopping online.

The youths nowadays is so lazy and expects to get waited on hand and paw.

I used to be the monkey barring champion in my days, i climbed the clothes rail right up to the top and second shelf shoe rack. And i escaped!! So, who are you calling a geriatric? You midge, you haven't climbed further than your little bendy bridge.

Anyway, what is it you want, Finley?

Rodney, retired Syrian.
 
(Gasps) How is a Syrian in our robo club? I think Scottie should be informed as they are only allowed by invitation.

Us youths are actually smart. We get everything online so we can stay nice and cosy in our burrows.
 
Pip here. I am happy! I found a long thin piece of something edible on my cork in front of my wheel. It looked like a very long worm. But it was more slippery - I sucked it all into my pouch in one go. The human said it was spaghetti. She said junior was the spaghetti sucker upper champion so I need to practice more with this spaghetti but then he has bigger pouches and I didn’t want all of it anyway - so I bit a bit off and left the rest.
 
I do not know what spaghetti is. Well done Pip. I see you have commenced the training. Your human is responding well.
 
RainbowBrite said:
(Gasps) How is a Syrian in our robo club? I think Scottie should be informed as they are only allowed by invitation.
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Scottie already knows because Finley pawed me a message on sniffagram.

Club rules welcome all species of hamsters but humans are by appointment only.

Rodney broke club rules by calling Finley a midge so i need to decide whether that warrants an official warning or instant dismissal.

Not sure about Finley's idea of involving the big boys. I need to think about this over a wash.

The heavyweight uptown is Jack. We used to be neighbours when i lived in Savic Row so i know him. Jack is heavy but he's not one of the heavies. He has never bitten a human in his life and he wouldn't hurt a midge, sorry, fly. A midge is a fly, a very annoying one.
Jack will only bite what is edible and humans don't look very appetising.
Jack bit the bars once for all of two seconds then decided that Clive is crazy for biting something he can't eat. He copied Clive to make sure he wasn't missing out on something.
So, even though Jack has a lot of weight to push about, he wouldn't use it to gang up on the humans because they are his favourite treats suppliers.
Scottie
 
I vote for Rodney to be banned! Haven't we been through enough with insults hurled at us about our size? Good idea to have a think over a wash. That is the best time to ponder.

I did not know there was an annoying fly called a midge. This makes the insults even worse!

Sounds like Jack is to in with the humans to do any work for us. We need somebody who will not let themselves be bribed.
 
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Finley here,
i agree and vote that Rodney should be banned. What a cheek of the old rat face to call me a midge.
And i tell you something else. It's hard to believe but its true. Rodney likes humans. He could be a spy.
007. Bond, the name is Bond, Rodney Bond.
 
He must be a spy. How can any self respecting hamster be on the side of a human? I hope Scottie does ban him. This goes to show, only robos can be trusted in our club.
 
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