TheRollingRobos by Scottie

Aw give Rodney a chance - it does say all species of hamster can be in the club. And there aren't that many Robos on here. On the other hand it's nice for Robos to have their say!
 
Beryl said:
Scottie already knows because Finley pawed me a message on sniffagram.

Club rules welcome all species of hamsters but humans are by appointment only.

Rodney broke club rules by calling Finley a midge so i need to decide whether that warrants an official warning or instant dismissal.

Not sure about Finley's idea of involving the big boys. I need to think about this over a wash.

The heavyweight uptown is Jack. We used to be neighbours when i lived in Savic Row so i know him. Jack is heavy but he's not one of the heavies. He has never bitten a human in his life and he wouldn't hurt a midge, sorry, fly. A midge is a fly, a very annoying one.
Jack will only bite what is edible and humans don't look very appetising.
Jack bit the bars once for all of two seconds then decided that Clive is crazy for biting something he can't eat. He copied Clive to make sure he wasn't missing out on something.
So, even though Jack has a lot of weight to push about, he wouldn't use it to gang up on the humans because they are his favourite treats suppliers.
Scottie
Click to expand...
Is a Midge insulting though? Pip called Raffy a big baby! Perhaps just a warning to Rodney to say he needs to check if Midge is PC or not! It's more like a friendly thing than an insult perhaps - Robos are quite small after all! Pip says it's better than me saying he looked like a slug when he was little (which is true if not very complimentary!).
 
Raffy is reading this intently and says he's too busy to join the club. Also he's slightly scared of Pip who is a bit older.
 
Scottie here,
well, ok, let's be fair. I'll issue Rodney with a warning this time. He took offence because Finley called him a geriatric which wasn't pc either.
 
Pip here. I want more spaghetti. Why is it rationed? The human says she is not cooking spaghetti specially for me - it was "leftover". I think that is inconsiderate. She did say that she does make porridge specially for me and Junior and I will have to be patient for more spaghetti. I have started making marks on the wall inside my house, counting the days till the next spaghetti.
 
Hey Pip, its Hams here, gate crashing the Robo chat. Thanks for talking spaghetti, my human told me how much you enjoy yours, I stared into her eyes and sat still for once to let her give me a nice stroke and voila! it worked she said I can have some soon. Fancy porridge as well, I’ll have to figure out how I ask for that.
 
Hello Hams. Well according to Junior (who gets out more than me), the way to do it is climb on their knee when they're eating and try and climb on their plate. Then they laugh and realise you like their food and may like a bit. I'm not sure how this would work with porridge - that could be dangerous as it's warm and sticky. Maybe come out early in the morning and look at the human and point your head at your bowl and they might get the hint. If they don't like porridge - you're done for - but there are other nice treats. Like scrambled egg.
 
Scottie here,
i heard that porridge is a swamp a Robo can get stuck in.
There's this story going round my town of a Robo called Gordon who used to live downtown.
One day a human gave him porridge and he jumped into the bowl then struggled to get out. He was all sticky and tried to wash it off so jumped into his sandbath which made it worse!
 
Scottie again,
in fact, a very worried Scottie.

Big Nose has just told me that one of my nails has started to point outwards and needs a trim. I disagree but it doesn't seem to count what i think, hiss hiss.

Big Nose said that she's off to the garden centre to buy Robo proof gloves and then i can bite as much as i want to because she won't feel it.

I need to think of something quick. In the meantime i won't surface or sit in my tubes where she can't get me but i can see her.

I'm off for a wash to think.
 
Hello Scottie. This sounds very worrying. I think you should hide in a small hide or tube so Big Nose cannot reach you. You said she has bad eye sight. She may think you have left home and forget about cutting your nails.
 
Hi Orko,
I doubt she'll forget because she's obsessed with hamster nails. Remember Halloween?

I thought i had scared her off by pretending to be a vampire but she's resourceful, very stubborn and just won't give up!

She must have been a hamster in a previous life.
 
Rodney here,

Ha! Do i know about Big Nose's obsession with hamster nails!
She resorts to all sorts of tactics, some of them illegal to get her hands on them. She's been after mine for months.

Watch out and be very very careful where you place your paws or you could find yourself with a nail missing.

The front of your cage is a danger zone, Scottie. She'll be all nice and chatting to you while you hold on to the bars to see what kind of treat she has in her fingers BUT beware of her other hand. Where is it and what is it holding. It could be the clippers!!

That's only one of her tactics. She will deceive you in other ways.
Sometimes she purposely annoys me and purposely keeps me waiting until i climb the bars in anger and outrage, rattle and bite the bars to make my displeasure known while she hides behind an armchair, adjusting her magnifying glasses, then suddenly jumps forward and snips a nail!

Her accomplice the armchair is my foe and i chew his legs every time i'm out for my evening stroll.
 
It sounds like you are in danger. I think you should try to plan an ambush. If all the hamsters in Big Nose prison form an attack then she will be helpless.
 
Pip here - Scottie I haven't had my nails cut yet - it sounds a bit eeky. But it might be difficult for you to have a proper wash with a bent up nail - it might scratch you or hurt your eye. So I would let Big Nose do it. Sometimes we robos have to put up with things and accept the human is trying to look after us.
 
RainbowBrite said:
I think you should try to plan an ambush.
Click to expand...
I just had a very long wash in my tube.
Interesting thought but wouldn't work Orko.

The humans are outnumbered by 6: 2 but let's have a look at the hamsters.

Finley, yes he would be up for it.

Rodney, i doubt it because he would be worried that Big Nose would shut the shop.

Jack, he would be far too lazy and an ambush doesn't involve food so that's a no go for him.

Rory, he is very old and couldn't stay awake for long enough.

Clive, he is an adult with the mind of a baby, Big Nose's baby. Soon as he would see her he would be running towards her squawking 'mummy!'

That would leave Two Robos v two humans or one human. Whiskers wouldn't go against Big Nose because she's the one who buys him his twigs.
Scottie
 
That was very well thought out of you Scottie. Alas, it seems you have no options but to keep the witch abated by your nails in the hope she will feed you treats to make up for it.
 
Hello friends. I want to share something with you. I really love whimzees and will not chew anything else. Well, I happily finished my whimzee ages ago and cruel Busy Body was not replacing it. She kept putting stupid twigs in my home instead. I heard her say to Tapper she was hoping I would chew them. Why would I want a stupid twig when I can have a yummy whimzee? So I devised a plan. I started chewing my cooling tile to make Busy Body feel guilty and give me a whimzee. I am happy to report that my plan worked! I now have a lovely new whimzee and Busy Body will not dare try to deprive me of one again.
 
Finley here,

Orko, you are so clever, mate. Having to resort to chewing a tasteless tile is pretty rough, mate.
Did Busy Body give you a genuine whimzee?
I heard that fakes are being sold in garden centres.
I overheard Big Nose talking to Rodney last night. She also said that she bought excellent, bite proof, leather enforced gardening gloves half price....
 
Why thank you. I am pretty proud of myself. It is a genuine whimzee. I tested it out. I did not know there were fake ones. If I ever got one then I would be sure to go back and chew my tile.

I am fearful for you my brother. This is very worrying news.

Hmm. You said there are fake whimzees in garden centres. Then Big Nose buys garden gloves. Maybe they will be fake too and you can bite through them.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top